...what giving up gives you...and where giving up takes you... [entries|friends|calendar] dA KeLLy [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

use me as you will pull my strings just for a thrill [13 May 2007|01:07pm] thank god for summer...let the good times role.. (comment)

summer..i need u NOW.. [24 Apr 2007|05:43pm] [ mood | tired ] seriously...2 1/2 more weeks of helllll! im so screwed with my life that i dont know what im going to do.  So as u all know..i went to ASU last year and while i was there i took like all my gen eds to get them out of the way bc i didnt really know what i wanted to do. I thought i wanted to do psychology but i dunno i guessn ot ne more. Then last semester gay shyt happened so i stayed at COD to take more gen eds..and now im at ISU and after this semester ends im done with all my gen eds. Now u might be sayin to urself, oh thats good..well nooo it isnt...because now no matter what major i chose im like behind..for example..im in Business Administration..and most FRESHMAN take like econ..well now sine i didnt..i cant get into like 3 er 4 other business courses..because itz a prerequisite..along with others...not only that but im like failling accounting now..and i wont be able to take it til next semester bc they dont let u retake courses that u fail HERE at another school. GAY!  So since im done with my gen eds, i have no hours to take..so please, kill me.   Any suggestions?? yea well time to go werk on my lame speech PeAcE 1 (comment)

ijtgnsengkjenrg [25 Mar 2007|10:29pm] [ mood | tired ] ::sigh:: well...interesting weekend..i found out at the last minute on friday that steve n tommy were deciding to go home...so i went along..which made me sooo happy...i got to see joey again..along with a lot of others....i really hate the feeling of leaving home to come to school...now that the weather is getting nice i dont want to have ne thing to do with school anymore. ahhh 7 more weekssss till summmerrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thas all for now.. PeAcE (comment)

..oh its what you do to me.. [21 Mar 2007|11:22pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | chris daughtry ] so today was the first day of spring. it was soooo nice outside..it was 70* out. it felt just like summer...and i felt like a lil kid because i was outside all day playin football and messin around. i hope it stays this nice out because it makes me in a better mood. i still wish i was back at home. i miss joey...a LOT!    :   / new one tree hill finally NEXT WEEK...excited thas all for now PeAcE (comment)

..so hold my hand, ill take u everywhere, anywhere, you wanna go.. [09 Mar 2007|09:13am] [ mood | excited ] [ music | nfg ] yesss...one more test to go..then HoMe! I am excited to go home and sleep in my own bed and see my doggy! I have so much to do in this upcoming week with not enough days!! Tonight i should get home around 5...then i need to get my nails redone..then i hope to see jooeeeyyy! If not, i may go wit anthony over to keiths fer a bit. Then tomorrow, i want to go shoppin, then im going on a date with julio to get our haircuts at his moms salon hehe. It is also my mommys birthday, so me n her are gunna celebrate both of ours either sat er sun. Then i may go over to my friend ashleys house, spend the night there wit everyone, then go downtown to the south side parade fer st pattys day and drink green beer all day  : )  Then i werk monday and wed from 6-230 EWWWW..then i hope to see sammmaannthhhaa and other peopleee the majority of the week : ) And hopefully on the weekend i can make it down to depaul..i reallyyyy want to go down there fer a night...so if ne one wants to go lemmmeee KNOW! I actually really would just like it to be summer! PeAcE fer nowww (comment)

we do it in the dark with smiles on our faces [18 Feb 2007|06:25pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | acceptance ] last night was really fun. me n tommy met up wit sean daly at sum apt party...and let me jus tell u i honestly owned the beer pong table with this one gurl theresa...then she quit and sean stepped in..and we kept winning...then we all headed back to seans abd me n tommy didnt get bac to the dorms til 6am..it was a night i needed. next weekend should be really fun too..im excited to seee everyoneeee, but not to get older and no longer be a teenager ne more, sad. man, i have soo much damn hw and i have to do laundry and honestly all i really wanna do is lay in bed and talk with joey and then fo to sleep..and itz what ill prolly end up doing.  i cant wait to go home tho...couple more weeks!!  so im thinkin of finally buying a car this summer..but im not really sure what. if ne one has sum suggestions, throw em out there...nothin extremely expesive tho bc afterall im not made of money. aighty well im out... PeAcE (comment)

hmmmmm [03 Feb 2007|05:47pm] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | acceptance ] i dont know anything anymore. im happy and yet im sad at the same time. i miss people from home..a lot..the school routine is gettin a bit old..and so is the damn weather here, fuckin freeeezzinngg. on a brighter note..itz almost mah biirrthhhhdaayyy...ha not that itz really all that exciting but hopefully IF PEOPLE decide they wanna come visit..they will come that weekend  ; ) ehh i dunno..im kinda suckin in school bc ive been sick lately. all i wanna do is stay curled up in a ball in my bed everyday lately..especially since itz like -100 outside ha.  i also miss a certain sumone from home..and i wish i could be with them right now..ive only been here fer like 3 er 4 weeks and it seems a shytload longer than that. hopefully ill make a trip home soon..cuz that would make me feel a lot better. also going home to see my baby copper. hes gettin old and not doin so well lately, and i dont kno how much time i have left wit him..i think i may die wen he does..seriously.  well im jus bored and excited fer da super bowl tomorrowwwww!! Bears will win..i have this amazing feeling  : ) PeAcE 2 (comment)

hmm [22 Dec 2006|10:38pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | NFG ] u know what...people argue about stupid shyt...but tonite, im not gunna let it get to me.................cuz tonite is guna be fun and im happy   ;  )  (comment)

[07 Dec 2006|09:01pm] kill mee......3 assignments down....3 more to go..and those are the worst ones...then study fer finals..... tomorrow i have to go to ISU and speak with an advisor, then sign a lease to live with josy next fall..AHHHHH i dont even know what to major in...im going insane! HELP PeAcE 1 (comment)

Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill... [11 Nov 2006|06:29pm] [ music | chevelle ] hmm wut an interesting life i live.... my weeks are on a broken record work... school.... sleep.... im confused right now. i miss my past, yet want a better future. i need help, help to have a better change. to have a smile on my face everyday. not with one week being sad and constantly wondering...and then having the next happy and excited. mind games are childish...any games rather...so stop...make up ur mind. Eaglewood....easy job..very time consuming tho. so glad i got out of target when i did. School....im honestly trying my best. i just suck at school no matter how hard i try. couple more weeks at cod...then i will have completed a year at  ASU, a semester at COD..and moving along next spring to ISU. Hopefully that change will be for the good. Im kinda nervous tho, cuz i have to go back to a dorm fer next semester...who knows who ill be with. Hell, i dont even have all my shyt from az yet. Time is moving along..but i still feel like my life is still stuck. I need a push into the right direction, to figure out my purpose here, who im supposed to be with in my life and what im supposed to accomplish. I also just met the gurl im living with next fall with at ISU. Her name is Josy. She seems pretty cool..and the apartment that we got is pretty sweet..but FAR AS HELL from campus...i need a car ASAP! Sleep....something that i really havnt been getting enough of. Ive been running around like a mad woman with school and working extra hours...that my reoccuring mono happened. My parents dont care enough to take me to a doctor ne more for it, since theres no cure for it but rest. Which is bullshyt cuz i cant keep going thru this and i dont have time to just lay in bed for weeks, altho, i WISH...cuz that would be amazing. Well...itz saturday..and i now need to go start sum of the shytload of hw i have..then off to werk...meeh.  PeAcE (comment)

[07 Nov 2006|02:11pm] and mono strikes again...the worst its been ever...someone please kill me.. 1 (comment)

..... [08 Oct 2006|06:29pm] isnt it COOL when people lie straight to u...but then u ALWAYS end up hearing what really happened!!!! 1 (comment)

..standing on the rooftops everybody scream ur heart out.. [23 Sep 2006|05:17pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | miiixxxxx ] lets see, what can i do to make a change in my life? have somethin to look forward to? something that gives me butterflies in mah tummy? i wish something would happen. so i was supposed to have an interview at eaglewood country club and spa today, but it got changed to wednesday, which is better i guess bc i didnt feel like goin out in the nasty rainy depressing weather today. and then i can turn in my 2 weeks at targay and then by the time i start at this new place, the weekend of the 6th 7th and 8th of october will be over and i can still go on my st. louis trip wit sam. that, i guess, is the only thing i have to look forward to right now. it will be good to get away. by the way, my mono has reoccured for the 4th time now, and itz getting a lil ridiculous. there has to be something i can do to get it completely OUT of my system. pretty soon im gunna take a knife to my throat to cut the bulges out of it. only about 3 months til i get to leave addison again and make a new journey out at good ole bloomington normal, il. Im excited to go there and not have to worry about ne thing, and start over new. hopefully that will be more fun than my last going away college experience. speaking of that..i miss arizona. i miss the weather, and i miss val and connor and kyli. i still havnt gotten my shyt from there, bc my cousin is gay. and weird thing, today is my cousin tommys wedding out in az...and last year, this very weekend was my cousin kristens wedding here downtown, and i came home this weekend. it was fun...and i miss that..a LOT.  lol..well i scammed my way out of goin to church tointe, i kno, im goin ta hell...but i dunno i didnt feel like goin and sittin there listenin to jiberish from the hindu guy fer an hour. well im off to get ready, im goin to dinner wit mah friend brittany from werk... PeAcE (comment)

And the more i try to pour, the less i fill your cup..cause nothings ever good enough.. [03 Sep 2006|12:24pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | hoobastank ] Not feeling the greatest right now, and i really dont wanna go to werk today fer 8 hours. im tryin to do all my hw and itz pretty hard cuz i keep procrastinating and getting distracted by ne thing and everything.  I havnt written in here in awhile. Lets see..wuts new. well i started cod a week or so ago. yea, itz no asu..itz a huge jail cell. at least me n sam have our first 2 classes together. i have a test in every class this thursday, that im really gunna have no time to study for bc i werk EVERYDAY that im not at school...which is too much. Saturday is my only day off of SCHOOL AND WERK. Yesterday was a good time. julio picked me up around 2...and we went to get my haircut by his mom...ehh it turned out aight..i NeEdEd it cut badly for quite sum time now...then we went to stake n shake, then i went home. then sam picked me up with sean and eric and we hung fer a lil. steve n tommy came home fer the weekend...tommy picked me up then and we went over to christinas house where her n krystle were jus hangin out...(lol i saw mr n mrs sinopoli on the quaker oats commercial yesterday which was funny.) steve then met us there. we drank fer a lil while..christina broke shot glasses...her parents then came home and then we headed over to teddy brewers house cuz he was havin a party....saw many of the 04 class which was interesting..and a few others who i havnt seen in a looonnggg time...it was a fun time..then steve took me to wendys, and im mad that he let me eat that that late ha..we chilled in front of childtime fer a lil and then i went home...woke up, and here i am.  but now im off to do sum hw before gay ass lame ass werkkkk ugh! PeAcE (comment)

wwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [06 Aug 2006|02:10pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | the higher ] so...my face = huge. wisdom teeth suck..why do they even grow to begin with if theres no damn room for em?! It wasnt so bad the first day and a half..but this morning i woke up bc i couldnt even lay on my pillow. Thank god i have my dad to get me milk shakes. I guess the 3rd day is supposed to be the worst...hopefully i can return to lame ass werk on tuesday. And hopefully im ok to go out fer sammmyyannthhas bday tomorrow..i havnt even seen sara yet GAY! She leaves sooon. I want to go down to fl again.  Everyone leaves fer skool soon. This is guna be weird. I wish i was goin away. Im gunna be all alone here. My life is lost right now...i need to meet new people and a new guy. I want to start over with everything, and be with new people..that make me feel good inside, and who has time for me. I dont know what im looking for, but i hope it finds me SoOn. This semester at cogay needs to fly by, so i can get back into a university and finish up school and get the hell on outta illinois.  This post isnt goin ne where special..am jus bored and sick of sittin upstairs watchin movies. PeAcE 4 (comment)

Did u ever ask the stars not to shine no more, to fly no more... [04 Aug 2006|11:00am] [ mood | nervous ] ahhhhhhhh someone save me.... i have to get my wisdom teeth out in approximately 30 mins. Im not looking forward for my jaw to feel broken for the next week  :* ( ::sigh:: at least itz finally gunna happen, since it got postponed like 3 times now.  Im starving, and i cant eat or drink ne thing GAY. Come keep me company. PeAcE (comment)

i know you well enough to know you never loved me [30 Jul 2006|12:25pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | mixx ] So i had such a great time this weekend. Friday after werk my bro picked me up and we went over to his buddy hectors house cuz it was garys bday. I saw some people who i havnt seen in a longgg time, and talkin to them just really opened my eyes. Mann thoo...i dont even know what happened that whole night, just me n dave sharing sum moments around the toilet together ha..yuck.. But yea, then yesterday was lauras party @ depaul. God i love all those people. It was a good time. Now time to go to lame ass werk todayyy....man i have sooo much to do this week with sooo little freeee timeee AHHHHHHH!!!!! This week will be amazzzinnngg thooo PeAcE 2 (comment)

[29 Jul 2006|02:56pm] [ mood | happy ] grab a drink and have the time of ur life     ;  ) (comment)

And today was the day just like any other.. [27 Jul 2006|01:44pm] [ music | anberlin ] Last weekend was one of the best weekends that ive had in awhile. but you know...yesterday wasn't the greatest day. But later, it was better, thanks to steve. I cant stand when people are/do: bipolar say one thing and mean another play fuckin mind games and play with my heart like itz nothing expect me to sit and wait around forever do things that hurt me in ways i cant even describe.. I cant stand when i: actually believe peoples bullshyt promises cant let go care so deeply about things that wont ever change no matter how bad i want it to or try get into long term things ..fall in love... i need to learn to fall out of it not get attatched just have fun live my life to the fullest do what i want to do and not try and bring others along with me cuz it wont werk and stop taking guilt trips from other people, cuz itz not all my fault ...im done with this...forever...thats wut was decided...it will be hard, but i guess is for the best...just sumthin to learn from... THings To LoOk FoRwARD tO.... *Oh so fun werk... *maybe celebrating garys bday on friday *possibly A conference on saturday @ villa park...and maybe see mr burns   ;  ) *Lauras bday downtown on saturdaayyy *Sara jane is coming in on thursday!!!! *NOT LoOkInG FoRwArD To GeTtInG WiSdOm TeEtH oUt NeXt FrIdAy  :*(   If ne one wants to chill with me while i look like a damn chipmonk, feel freeeeee  PeAcE 1 (comment)

...excuse me while i fall apart, dont flatter urself sweetheart... [12 Jul 2006|01:10pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | MBR ] My eyes burn from these tears You'd think I'd learn over these years Good things won't last forever So what the hell am I suppose to do You only wanted the things I couldn't give to you And you had it all anyway So take take everything and leave me scrambling Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place Tell me I'm wrong when I say I can't expect you to spend forever with me I live for that single moment I take back everything I've said You wore those words on your lips As if they meant anything anyway Sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth It seems I do more harm than good And I don't know if it's worth me loosing sleep over this So take take everything and leave me scrambling Reaching for something that wasn't there in the first place... ****So ive come to conclusion....**** guys relationships boys and girls sex stories reputations mind games drama All of it is bullshyt Why do people have to make things so complicated? It really isnt necessary. I cant deal with my heart being handled the way it is. Make up ur goddamn minds. And everyone needs to keep out of other peoples fuckin business! So the questions comes down to... How do i aLwAyS end up gettin myself into a big mess..and how do i get myself out? 1 (comment)

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]